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Shirley Mathew

How to find and start healing your inner child

Not everyone connects childhood with enjoyment and playfulness. If you went through abuse, trauma, or other forms of emotional distress, your inner child may come off as tiny, defenseless, and in need of care. To protect yourself, both the adult you are now and the child you used to be, you might have buried this hurt deep.


Heal your inner child

Intractable pain doesn't go away. Rather, it typically manifests itself in your adult life as problems meeting your own needs or as emotional suffering in your relationships. You can address some of these concerns by addressing your inner child's healing.


Healing your inner child involves acknowledging and addressing the emotional wounds and unmet needs from your childhood. Here are steps to help you find and start healing your inner child:


Self-Reflection and Awareness

Take time to reflect on your childhood experiences and how they have influenced your beliefs, behaviours, and emotions as an adult. Be honest with yourself about any unresolved pain, trauma, or neglect from your past.


Connect with Your Inner Child

 Visualise or imagine your inner child, the younger version of yourself who experienced those difficult emotions or events. Connect with this inner child through journaling, meditation, or visualization exercises. Imagine comforting and nurturing your inner child with love, compassion, and understanding.


Validate Your Feelings

 Validate your inner child's feelings and experiences. Allow yourself to feel and express the emotions that arise, whether it's sadness, anger, fear, or grief. Avoid dismissing or invalidating your feelings, as this can perpetuate emotional wounds.


Identify Emotional Triggers

Pay attention to situations or events that trigger intense emotional reactions or behaviors. These triggers often stem from unresolved issues related to your inner child. By identifying your emotional triggers, you can gain insight into the underlying wounds that need healing.


Reparent Yourself

 Reparenting involves providing yourself with the care, nurturing, and support that you may have lacked in childhood. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and patience as you would with a child. Practice self-care activities that nurture your emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.


Seek Therapy or Counselling

 Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in inner child work, trauma healing, or childhood issues. Therapy provides a safe and supportive space to explore and heal deep-seated emotional wounds with the guidance of a trained professional.


Inner Child Work Exercises

 Engage in inner child work exercises to facilitate healing and integration. These exercises may include writing a letter to your inner child, creating a collage or artwork that represents your inner child, or role-playing conversations with your inner child.


Practice Forgiveness

 Forgive yourself and others for past hurts and grievances. Holding onto resentment or blame only prolongs your emotional suffering. Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning harmful actions but rather releasing yourself from the emotional burden of the past.


Set Healthy Boundaries

 Establish healthy boundaries in your relationships and interactions to protect your inner child from further harm or neglect. Learn to assertively communicate your needs, preferences, and limits with others, and prioritise relationships that are supportive and nurturing.


Celebrate Progress

 Celebrate your progress and growth on your healing journey. Acknowledge the steps you've taken to heal your inner child and recognise the resilience and courage it takes to confront and heal emotional wounds.


Healing your inner child is a gradual and ongoing process that requires patience, self-compassion, and dedication. By engaging in self-reflection, seeking support, and practicing self-care, you can begin to heal past wounds and nurture a more compassionate and integrated sense of self.

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